Bayonetta

One thing I forgot to mention in my general roundup was my experience with the game Bayonetta.

PAX had this very nice room where one could wander in and check out a game and play it for 45 minutes – hour. The library was large and it spanned multiple different game systems. Want to try out a PS3? Sure. Want to check out this weird game you heard about? Go ahead!

I was alone, and I wanted to play something where I would have no emotional investment. So I checked out Bayonetta. The guys working the room asked me three times if I really wanted to play this game and I said yeah, of course I did.

This game is, to put it simply, horrifically, awfully awesome. It is so awful it actually makes that loop to becoming good again. In essence: you are a DEMON NUN WITH GUNS AND KUNG-FU. You are beating up the ANGELS OF HEAVEN. God has it in for you, personally. And you, like, kung-fu on a bunch of angels and you head down to purgatory and hang out and you get magic witchy hair powers that let you walk on water and dodge lightning and then you go hang out in a bar in hell to buy your powerups. Blah blah blah plot and cut scenes — I kept hitting “skip cutscenes” so who knows what the plot is about.

Really, SEGA, you had me at DEMON NUN. The guns and kung-fu are just added bonuses.

People wandering the room had to stop and stare at what I was playing. By time I got kicked off, I had a small audience who partook of my terrible run-through of the game. There was a small “aw” when I turned it off.

Dude, I totally don’t know if I could recommend this game or not. I just know, like, DEMON NUN.