Outsourcing

We’ve been having these conversations about religion at work — yes, yes, I know it is one of the verboten topics but we’ve been talking about it anyway at lunch — and I was thinking about the Catholic way of handling prayer. It’s a bit like having to call for a computer support and then, if the issue is something that the guy on the phone cannot help via following the script, it has to be pushed to the supervisor.

I’m kind of partial to St. Theresa of Avila who went through life being too intelligent for her own good. For me, I suppose, it would go to St. Theresa to Mary to Christ to God who, as the CEO, is too busy running the universe and perhaps putting together merger deals with other universes to deal with my pithy problems. And I feel kind of bad telling St. Theresa to let me “talk to her supervisor” and even worse when she puts me on hold hell. Because she would. She was that kind of person.

Then I got a bit freaked out the other day that maybe, like everyone else, even the ranks of Saints and Angels were having budgetary issues and they outsourced their prayer call center to India or China. (This would explain the spread of Catholicism in China — but the strange, statist Catholicism where the State picks the Bishops instead of the Vatican but that’s a whole different rabbit hole.) Does God have a budget so large even He can dodge the Recession? Is the ranks of Saints now too expensive with their lavish monestary and nunnery based lifestyles that they, too, have to be laid off and replaced by low-cost call centers?

This is the stuff that worries me sometimes. And, perhaps, just perhaps, I am overthinking it a little.

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