books
Spurned by the Berenstein Bears
1From somewhere, Katie acquired a copy of a Berenstein Bears book. She has lots of books. They come from everywhere. It ought to be pretty non-confrontational stuff — bears go to school, bears meet some bear conflict, bears resolve conflict through bear family unity.
But no!
When I read the book to Katie yesterday evening, one passage turned my vision red, boiled my blood, clenched my fists, and made me shake in the burning need to rant. For the bears had offended me and they must die. I am plotting their fuzzy death. Bears are a menace! You see:
Brother Bear, you see, is good at science and math, but is bad at language arts.
Sister Bear, on the other hand, is good at language arts but terrible at science and math.
Why? I thought. Why is Sister Bear good at spelling and reading and Brother Bear good at science and math, which presumably also needs spelling and reading? Because math is hard! We’re giving into gendered stereotypes! And Sister Bear is a girl.
I was coated in feminist rage. Why couldn’t Sister Bear be good at reading and science and math? Why does she have to suck at science and math? Is she not good enough? Is the teacher not giving her enough encouragement? And what does that mean, precisely? And why are you telling my daughter who is obsessed with how brains work and how much blood is in the human body* that Sister Bear sucks at math and science!
Sister Bear goes off to compete in a spelling bee, but in this book she decides to ditch the spelling bee progression right when she was winning because she would rather go play with her friends. Friends are awesome but hey, spelling bee! Father Bear, you see, gets guilt over pushing Sister Bear competitively to defeat her enemies with words and bathe in their spelling bee entrails. He decides he should back off instead. But would he get guilt over pushing Brother Bear? I bet not. No way, man.
Girl == go ditch out of succeeding, go play with your friends. Boy == KILL.
You suck, Berenstein Bears.
Grrr. I prefer stuff with Princesses. At least they get swords and stuff and have to go rescue the Prince from the evil witch. And hey! She would rather go see Despicable Me anyway because she wants a Minion. Not a stuffy. An actual yellow dude Minion.
* 10 gallons under extreme pressures. *SPRAY*
More eBooks
0I saw yesterday some statistics that people are reading slower on their eBook devices then on actual books. I find that I read noticeably slower on the Kindle then the iPad, but not noticeably slower on the iPad than a real book. I’m not a jiffy speed reader anyway; I’m not sure it makes a huge difference. The stat I saw was 6.2%. A summary of the study is here.
But what did we learn? People hate to read off their PCs*, loved their iPad, and was still fond of the printed book. This is sort of a “duh” moment, but it is “duh” quantified.
I am firm in my belief that the codex is going nowhere. Not only are the devices expensive**, but they are good only for fiction and narrative-form non-fiction. I know that Amazon has a dream of getting into the textbook market but I have a hard time seeing how a math book is going to work on the Kindle.
Meanwhile, the market is predicted to grow to some 12.5% this year. Borders, late as always, opened their eBook store this morning with the execrable Sony Reader. Better late than never, I suppose. But I cannot seem to browse the store online to see if it has Pynchon in eBook form so it is dead to me.
For those of you who are sort of waffling on this eBook thing, I recommend downloading Arturo Perez-Reverte’s absolutely brilliant “The Club Dumas.” from the Kindle store to try it out and read it on whatever device has Kindle software (all of them). Or really, just read that book in general because it’s awesome.
* I am notorious for having to dump every PDF I get to the printer — or did before I had an iPad and the sainty perfection of GoodReader. I avoided long articles like the plague but now between Instapaper and GoodReader on the iPad, I can read them easily.
** w00t had a $150 Kindle and it sold out almost instantly. The Kindle is now at Target. I expect a sub-$100 reading device that doesn’t suck by Christmas. Even then, it will lock out a fair amount of the market in price.
e-Books
0As an avowed “book smeller,” I feel deep guilt as I admit that I am addicted to e-Books. Now that I have access to my books on my kindle, on my iPad, and on my droid* synching across all the platforms, I am in this “always a book all the time” mentality. With a shock I realized I have read more books this year so far than the last three years combined.
Strange.
I do like the smell of libraries and I love to browse around bookstores. I like the feeling of opening and browsing a book. But paperback books that lived in my bag that I carried around with me, for whatever reason, didn’t get read. They ended up in piles next to my bed and gathered dust. I would buy the books and intend to read the books and then shelve them.
Now I am hovering books at a high rate — I am nearly done with the second 1000+ page book of the year — and they are all e-Books. It is a bit disconcerting and I’m not certain if this is because the Kindle is extremely portable and fits conveniently in my bag, if the iPad is a decent reading device, the “always-on” nature of the books, the ubiquity of the Amazon Kindle app**, or all of the above.
But hey, I am reading again, and at speed. This can only be a good thing.
I do wish Pynchon’s books were available in eBooks, though. GRRR. I shake my fist! I would be reading them all, his entire catalog, right now.
* …although I find books completely unreadable off my droid.
** iBooks lasted about 30 seconds with me. I stick with the Kindle app exclusively.
Mythology and Wikipedia
0This is the first time I am posting from my iPad. I’m seeing how it goes but if this becomes a habit I will need to start packing a travel keyboard.
I have started working on a small mythology-based project. I’m not sure where it is going to go and I get about thirty minutes a day to pick at it. It is not much time but thirty minutes a day starts to add up. I wanted to download Knowledge into my head but since my brain isn’t chipped yet for instant information transferral I went to wikipedia.
Now I know what bored people with phds in mythology or various cultures or library science do in their off-hours. Dude! I have several mythology books but save something like Edith Hamilton’s Mythology the articles in wikipedia are better than most reference books. I was shocked. They go on for pages and pages and are sourced to the nines.
The iPad’s Wikipanion app has been a real help. Not only does it do the fancy formatting but it bookmarks, follows links, and follows internal wikipedia links. Bookmarking is key.
So that’s that. If you haven’t looked up your favorite god, you should. The articles are impressive.
[Book Review] Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human by Richard W. Wrangham
0(This review talks about human evolution. If you’re into ID, I’m sure my next post will be full of something not about human evolution.)
Dr. Wrangham is a British Primatologist over at Harvard and his book, “Catching Fire,” is an interesting science book full of nothing but science. He starts with a basic supposition that something happened on the evolutionary boundary between the habilines, largely shown as Homo Habilis and our buddy Home Erectus. By examining the skull structure, chest cavity, molar structure, and the analysis of diet, nutrition and food science, his theory states that humanity made two major jumps:
1. Australopithecine -> Homo Habilis by the introduction of scavenged meat into the diet, well pounded with early tools to make it palatable and digestible.
2. Homo Habilis -> Homo Erectus by placing the vegetables and meat in the fire cook the food.
He marries primatology with food science to show how cooked meat and vegetables greatly reduces the time to chew and digest food while keeping the exact same caloric and nutritional content of food. Experiments show feeding cooked and easy to chew food to animals, especially primates, results in very fat primates who always prefer cooked food to raw. Raw food consumes an enormous time to chew and requires large molars, which Homo Sapiens no longer has, but cooked food needs a smaller digestive system and smaller molars. It also frees Homo Sapiens from the task of chewing all day to doing other things — a rate of spending 60% of the day chewing down to less than 10%. Energy also is conserved in physiology — all animals across all species and genus with access to easily digested food have reduced gut size and put all that energy into increased brain cavity.
Fire provides a whole host of other evolutionary advantages — more hours in the day available to be active, a source of protection at night, a source of warmth, a place for culture to grow and breed, and a clear division of labor between the sexes — hunting and cooking. Dr. Wrangham pulls dozens of examples from many different hunter-gatherer cultures worldwide, from Inuit to Australian aborigines to the !Kung of Africa to South Pacific Islanders, and finds commonalities that involve cooking, meat/vegetable balance, and division of labor and economic trade-offs. All revolves around fire and food.
As for keeping a fire going, experiments show that chimpanzees can keep a fire going indefinitely. If a fire, captured, was brought in to a cave or another protected place and was properly venerated as the God it is, certainly a fire could be kept going. Homo Habilis was a tool-maker and tool-user — if Homo Habilis realized using the gold (pyrite-filled) stones to smash instead of the grey or brown ones, fire would start, and it had enough presence to repeat the process, fire could be made and kept going. It’s reasonable to believe mankind made fire and kept fire far before measured time.
The arguments make sense and they are well sourced with tons of footnotes, a vast bibliography, and references pulled from other sources. The argument is also persuasive — we can find fire pits up to 800,000 years old and after that there is no trace but that means very little. If one little group became Homo Erectus and survived, we would never find evidence of that one small tribe who lived on. Too many evolutionary advantages match with the archeological evidence. Something happened at that boundary between Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus, something that allowed the gut to shrink and the brain to expand and Homo Erectus to spread all over the world. Keeping fire and cooking food makes sense and the arguments are reasonable.
It’s a fairly short, quick read as these sorts of books go at 320 pages. Highly recommended to anyone interested in human evolution and/or food science.
[Book Review] Castle Waiting by Linda Medley
1Kim lent me a copy of the hardbound first collection of the graphic novel Castle Waiting by Linda Medley and produced by Fantagraphics Books. The story is a sort of feminist Chaucer set in the never never land of fairy tales. It opens with the story of Castle Waiting, a castle set over a land once lush and prosperous until it became the bramble-covered castle of the story of Sleeping Beauty. Once the Prince woke the Princess and everyone else from their century-long sleep the town was gone and the castle destroyed. With the castle abandoned by all but a few, it became Castle Waiting.
The stories in Castle Waiting are charming and entertaining but lack emotional punch. It’s difficult not to be charmed by the book as the stories are light, funny and entertaining. A pregnant woman flees from her abusive husband and falls into peril before she manages to reach Castle Waiting and give birth to her strange green son. A horse-headed knight and the stork-shaped keeper of the castle go into town for supplies and meet up with bandits. A full second half of the book involves the story of the local nun and how a bearded girl joined a circus, left a circus, and found herself among a feminist order in the service of God. The story of the nun goes on too long — it spins into backstories about backstories that have backstories — but is otherwise fun to read. It’s sort of the fantasy lives of the women of various fantasy series while their men go off and fight wars and the great battles between Good and Evil.
It’s a fun read. It’s well and clearly written. The art is top-notch for being b&w. It’s very light. I’m not certain it’s a “read more than once” but it is handsomely bound and looks good sitting on a shelf among other books. It makes a nice introduction to comics for people who aren’t enormous comic-book people and aren’t interested in requiring an encyclopedic knowledge of this universe or that one going back 40 years. Although it has fairy tale references it is a self-contained volume.
I’ll happily read volume #2 when it comes out. This one comes recommended for those looking to get into comics and not knowing where to start, or those who enjoy comics from time to time but don’t want to invest in some huge story. It’s a great intro-story. It may not be a good recommendation for people who are hard core comics nerds who are looking for more meat out of their stories.
(Also, it needs to go back to its owner!)
In Which I Recommend Comics
0It is no great secret that I am an enormous comics nerd. (Or maybe it is? WHO KNOWS.) I was recently asked: if I could recommend any comics to someone to get them started, what would I recommend? The big bookstores now stock full walls of comic books next to the Impossible Walls of Manga with no introduction what to buy or what to start. Does one buy Batman? Avengers? Daredevil? Where does one start?
In considering the question at hand, I swiftly removed anything that required 30 years of comics of multiple different lines to figure out what is going on in today’s issues. It’s hard to recommend, for example, “Grant Morrison’s JLA run” without having background in JLA. I dropped anything with excessive T&A, ridiculous violence, or anything requiring a certain level of pre-assumed nerdiness. I also removed any comics like Planetary which require an understanding of the comics it references. Then I peered at my comics shelf.
My Quick Cheat Sheet:
1. Bill Willingham’s Fables. While some are not thrilled with the overarching metaplot that develops in the later collections of Fables, the original collection, Legends in Exile, is accessible, well-written, well-drawn and requires knowledge only of the standard children’s fairy tales. Some disagree, but Fables has won approximately 15 billion Eisner Awards.* My #1 pick for a starter comic line.
2. Mike Mignola’s Hellboy. I adore Hellboy. Everyone I have ever recommended Hellboy to has also loved Hellboy. It is physically impossible not to adore Hellboy. Sure, it has violence, but the stories are some of the best weird tales ever to appear in comic book form. Read Hellboy.
3. Neil Gaiman’s Sandman. Sandman is the old standby, the original gateway drug. When comics went down the dark hole of T&A and ultraviolence in the 90s, the DC imprint Vertigo brought intelligence back to comics storytelling with Sandman. Start with Preludes and Nocturnes. It’s what got me back into comics after a many year hiatus…
4. David Peterson’s Mouse Guard. Only Series Fall 1152 collection is out in paperback. Winter 1152 is still hardcover. Regardless, Mouse Guard is wonderful — beautifully illustrated with a wonderfully written story about the perils of mouse Paladins defending their homes against mouse uprising. If you get anything off this list, it should be Mouse Guard. Go check out the website here and give David Peterson all your money to encourage him to make more.
5. Bryan Lee O’Malley’s Scott Pilgrim. Yes, it now has a movie and a video game coming out. And I avoided it for years because it was ‘too hip’ but this was a terrible horrible mistake. Scott Pilgrim is indeed about this guy who meets his true love and must fight her seven evil exs. In manga-style. With kung-fu and sword fights. And sound effects. With the power of RAWK. One of the funniest comics ever written. Sheer brilliance in comic form.
6. Brian Michael Bendis’s Powers. In a world where people with super powers that are relatively common, two cops follow up on “Powers homicides.” One of the cops used to be a super-hero but now he lost all his powers — although he still have deep roots in the “Powers” community. Powers: Who Killed Retro Girl? is one of my favorite comic book stories of all time. It’s beautiful film noir and cop procedural set in a super power universe.
7. Joe Sacco’s Safe Area Gorazde and Palestine from Fantagraphics. This is probably not to everyone’s taste but Joe Sacco blends embedded journalism on the ground with his art to make very compelling graphic novels. His Footnotes in Gaza is up for (yet another) Eisner this year. I find his work fascinating and combining on the ground political reporting + drawn pictures gives the tales emotional impact. Also, Fantagraphics offers Love and Rockets, often popular with the “I love comics but not superhero comics” set**. Unfortunately, not often stocked at the big box stores.
8. Alan Moore’s From Hell. Yeah, it’s a classic but of all of Alan Moore’s work, From Hell stands out as my favorite.*** It is a complete novel, it’s about Jack the Ripper, it’s fascinating and extremely well-written with an enormous bibliography.
9. Garth Ennis’s Preacher. It has been re-released into bigger compilations!**** The story of a Preacher whose congregation was murdered by a supernatural creature named Genesis and now crosses the United States to (literally) find God. Also from the 90s but one of the best of the 90s. Has a beginning, a middle and an ending. A complete story.
10. Brian Vaughan’s Y the Last Man. Yorick’s story about a disease that wipes out all men in the world except him and his cross-US journey to get on a boat and get to Australia to find his girlfriend is clinging tenaciously to my list. It’s a great road-trip comic books which includes Another fine Eisner winner and another one with a start, middle and ending.
There’s other stuff that I really enjoy but I could write this post for the next year and never get through them all. I mean, there’s no JMS Rising Stars on this list.***** Nor is Walking Dead. Nor some of the indie stuff I love like Two-Fisted Science. So there’s 10 series — enough to empty out any bank account and fill a shelf with dead trees covered in print.
I was going to limit this list to 5 but then I got typing… sad.
* In 2008, it was 30 + a Hugo. It is nominated this year again.
** I have only read small amounts of L&R so I cannot recommend it.
*** Watchmen is great but it needs so much context to ‘get’ it that it instantly fails off my ‘easy to recommend’ list. I don’t love V for Vendetta. I don’t love Swamp Thing as much as From Hell.
**** So on my birthday list.
***** I have heard your criticism of putting Y the Last Man above Rising Stars and have moved on. It was a fight which one got the last spot.
Open Letter to Book Publishers
0Dear Book Publishers (all of you):
I am not a huge believer in the universal maxim of the long tail but it has some merit because I have given in to it. Convenience of the online world makes it both realistic and generates sales. While I understand that music != book publishing, imagine this scenario:
- Someone online refers to me a band. In this example we will use the Indie band Mogwai. I look up Mogwai on youtube and listen to several songs.
- I like these songs. Instead of spending the next month hunting down Mogwai in a mass-market record store, where I will surely fail, I fire up iTunes and give $9.99 for the album. Certainly Apple takes their cut but some of this flows to the band.
- It goes to my iPod where I inflct the songs on everyone around me.
- I enjoy these songs and I tell others to look into it, generating more instant sales.
- I like Mogwai so much I look for “bands like Mogwai” like, say, Explosions in the Sky. I may indeed spend more money!
More listening, more downloading, and perhaps more purchases in the halo of one person mentioning one band. I love music; I do this often. Yes, CD sales have crashed but easy access to the media for a reasonable (lower than the CD itself) price has ensured that not only do I not pirate and will not pirate, but I am happy to fork money over. $9.99 for a complete album of indie goodness is, to me, a reasonable price point.
But right now in books this happens:
- I find a book from a book review (usually, let’s face it, NPR) I would like to read.
- If I am exceedingly lucky the book is available for my Kindle and I download it.
- I enjoy the book! I look for “more like this.”
- The old NOT FOUND sound from Family Feud* plays. Either not found or exceedingly expensive. More often than not, not found.
- Sure I could order a dead tree book from Amazon or go on a quest but I am reading off my Kindle where life is simply simpler for me.
- I will not buy “books like this.” Sale lost.
You know, I am supremely irked at the lack of back catalog available on the Kindle. I realize that getting these books into digital format with professional layout is what we call a “jobs program.” But you cannot tell me for a moment that all those, say for example, Pynchon books** sitting in the literature section (read: book report section) of the bookstore actually sell and that you won’t at least get halo sales by people simply clicking on the “books like this” link in electronic form, in a form that takes up minimal space on a HDD RAID Array somewhere.
I totally want a publishing industry. I want gatekeepers to hold back the tidal wave of crap. I want editors. But we need to acknowledge that it’s the content that’s important and not the paper. Sure, I really would prefer all my books to be in dead tree form with that rippling sound of the pages and the satisfaction of a book mark moving further in a book but reality is that I want to read AND run around like a maniac and I want to give you money and the device is fitting into my lifestyle. Just like it is fitting into other people’s lifestyles. I am hardly alone.
So look. Start scanning in that back catalog and not just the stuff available from Penguin Classics. Stop fighting over the price of new releases and embrace the long tail. Price them reasonably. Because right now, you’re losing sales and your friendly customers are all hunting for that long tail book as a badly formatted PDF on bittorrent out of sheer frustration.
I understand there may be contractual issues that need to be worked out but I want to give you money. Why will you not take my money? I am boggled.
Love, me.
* I’m old.
** GRRR. And no Nabokov — DOUBLE GRR.
[Review] David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest
0David Foster Wallace is an acquired taste, a bit like hot sauce or sushi. I started with the essay Consider the Lobster in the now sadly defunct Gourmet magazine. Actually, this isn’t true. I found some other essay online that I read and greatly enjoyed but now I cannot find it again so I will start with Consider the Lobster.
After Consider the Lobster, I worked through his collected essays to get to Infinite Jest, a 1000 page tome of a book with 200 pages of absolutely essential footnotes. The closest work to Infinite Jest, the Internet tells me, is Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow, and if you like Pynchon you will like DFW. This is undoubtedly true; both specialize in dense and complex works of weird non-linear fiction. The difference is DFW is on the Kindle and Pynchon is not to spite me and me personally so the one on the Kindle got read and the other one did not.
The best way to describe the book is a dense post-modern surrealist novel that is often not surrealist at all. It focuses on strong themes of depression, drug addiction and recovery, fall and redemption, tennis, Quebecqois separatism, terrorism, adolescence, suicide, LARPing, film theory, philosophy, and other fun topics all set to a tone that is best envisioned, bizarrely enough, fully animated. The world is science fiction the same way Vonnegut’s worlds are science fiction: it is a vague near future where even the years have a corporate sponsor, everyone is wired into their ‘entertainments’ and New England has been turned into an enormous toxic waste dump for electoral reasons. The future is full of American’s inalienable rights to consume and consume until they cannot consume any more, pleasure and fulfillment, and the Infinite Jest being the ultimate pleasure, a movie so pleasurable after watching it once, a victim will kill to watch it again and again and again. Now if only someone could weaponize infinite pleasure in the form of a DVD…
The story follows two separate storylines — one at an Elite Tennis Academy high school and one at a drug and alcohol addiction recovery halfway house down the hill. The cast of characters feels vast at first and impossible to track with their special ticks and personalities but this turns out to not be an insurmountable task. Both the Ennet Recovery House and the Enfield Tennis Academy are populated with dozens of characters, each with their own special personalities that manage to come through on the page. Some characters show up and hang around for a scene and wander out again. Some are given full and rich backgrounds until they, too, drift away. But through it the two main threads of story never quite touch except in one paragraph possibly in a flash-forward early in the book — although several characters from the two threads often cross.
Like Catch-22, Infinite Jest is not in chronological order. The story jumps around showing a future scene and then flashes back to show the full runup to that scene. (Arguably, the entire book is a run-up to the first, opening scene.) Sometimes a chunk of essential narrative is told in a long footnote. This is where the ‘challenge’ comes in — sometimes it is difficult to tell where in the cut-up machine of Infinite Jest a certain scene fits. The narrative jumps around point of view from character to character. One long stretch is told entirely in script-form with puppets. Another is the story of a particularly strange LARP played with tennis rackets and giant maps. The book is not difficult to read, not in the way a dense text from Victorian England can be difficult to physically read. The text itself is quite easy and quick to read. The book itself is structurally challenging. This is not a band thing.
Infinite Jest is highly referential in places — Dostoevsky, Melville, Shakespeare, Joyce. The Enfield Tennis Acadamy is full of Hamlet references in the last half of the book. Even the Ghost of the Father! The skull! Gravediggers! The Queen and Polonius! The final scene as Hamlet goes off and Horatio is left behind. Read or refresh Hamlet before picking up Infinite Jest. Most of the play is embedded in the book.
My favorite part of the book was the last 150 or so pages of Don Gately, the main character of the Recovery House arc, laid in a hospital bed hallucinating his life and the Ghost and the truths to complete his Redemption cycle. It is probably DFW’s very best writing and it is deeply compelling writing.
I want to recommend this book. Obviously I enjoyed it. I read the whole book and the required footnotes. The formal requirement is you must like strange, unconventional, and weird literary books that do not conform to the basic novel form. I would say — start with the essay above, and then the other essays, and then the short stories, and kind of eeeease into it. It’s a very cool book but it is extremely mind-bendy and challenging.
Kindle FTW
3People who have been within a 20′ radius of me know that I have been reading David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest, an extremely strange post-modern 1200 page book. I will write a review and some thoughts on the book when I have more time (and boy do I have thoughts on said book which rivals Neal Stephenson for non-ending endings) but this is about the accomplishment: I have not been able to read a book of that significant length in years, and not since Katie arrived.
While I am not 100% sold on e-books, and it will take another decade to ween me off the idea that books should have a distinctive smell*, the Kindle, being light, thin, and can fit into my purse without any hassle, has meant a return to reading again — at least for me. I have always preferred GRAND EPICS of EPICNESS to short books and the weight simply became prohibitive.
This makes me think a bit more about the arguments on how e-books are killing reading or killing readership. I am left unconvinced and cold. A book != a tv show. A book is fundamentally better. I’ve found that the portability tradeoffs are allowing me to read more than I have in years. I only have a datapoint of one, but I am beginning to suspect Someone is Wrong on the Internet.
Anyway, I find I can heartily endorse the Kindle for reading ridiculously long books. A good translation of Brothers Karamazov** (Bantam Books) has now appeared there so I can enjoy the long metaphysical, religious, and fundamentally strange discussions between the atheist brother Ivan and the pious brother Alyosha. I was struggling with a bad translation from the Russian. Dostoevsky is a major guilty pleasure and the Kindle is giving me more opportunity to cram it into the little cracks of free time in my life.
* I always associate Stephen King’s The Stand with a very pagey sort of smell.
** I will never be on a first name basis with Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoevsky. I won’t even get to Fyodor M. Sadness.
A Minor Victory
0I have been fighting to get Katie interested in longer stories (books) for a year and a half now. This effort has been met with limited success: the world is full of too many interesting things to sit still for a story, even at night when winding down for bed. She is just too wiggly.
We have slowly been working through Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Katie had spurious interest in the story since it starts slowly. It takes almost 40 pages for Charlie to find the golden ticket in the second illicit candy bar in the store. But once the children started dying horribly*, Katie became intensely interested and then promptly pretended she was not interested at all.
This morning Katie was very very concerned that Charlie would be okay and not also meet some heinous fate and I told her we have to “read the book to find out what happens next.” And I cackled while she looked very put off that she would not get the answer. Yeah, we’ll finish this book as she pretends to hate the experience.
Other than my absolute favorites the Roald Dahl books, does anyone have any good recommendations of books about 150-175 pages in length for the 4-6 year olds? We have a bunch of the Disney fairy books but some of them are pretty badly written. I am still trying very hard to get Katie into the swing of a constant chunk of story/night and it’s amazing how important the writing is.
And I mean, hell, I have, what, 1500 books in the house? One does not get away with not reading books while living in a veritable library.
(As a complete aside, is Willy Wonka a gay character or the most gay character in children’s literature?)
* The children do not die horribly. They are merely rolled off-stage by Oompa-Loompas who come up with clever songs who mock their terrible and easily avoidable fates. But hey, Augustus Gloop goes off to a fudge folding machine. I’m sure that’s pleasant.
ComiXology
0The big question I have gotten all day is:
“How are comics on the iPad?”
It’s no big secret that I am a comics nerd. I do prefer my comics to be indie but comics are comics and I will go read X-Men or Justice Leage with the best of them. Knowing comics on demand were on the iPad, I was chomping at the bit to check it out. At first I thought only the Marvel app was available which delivers only Marvel comics, but there’s an app called comiXology, which the Marvel app is built on, which delivers indies and creator-owned and small-house and Dark Horse and Image and a fair number of Manga publishers if you’re into Manga. I’m not, but to each his or her own and you can read Manga off the iPad.
Tonight I have read issues of Walking Dead (excellent), Action Philosophers (interesting) and Mark Millar’s Wanted (excellent). The bastards give away the first issue for free and then dangle the rest of the series for pay.
Dear god, I need to delete my iTunes account because I am so doomed.
Okay, so. First off: search and sort by writer, publisher, genre, title. I cannot find any Grant Morrison (hmm) but I can find some Bendis on the two apps. That’s good. Several excellent series are available in their totality.
Second: reading comics on the iPad is a religious experience. The screens are crisp and bright and easy to read. The colors are deep and true. You can click to zoom in on the panels. Reading feels comfortable and natural. It is a flick of the finger to change the page. You can buy issues or entire graphic novel collections.
Third: Buying means clicking on the big happy BUY NOW button. It charges my credit card and downloads the file and puts it in an on-iPad library. Older comics are $0.99, newer are $1.99 and most collections are $9.99. They’re cheaper than the print versions.
I hope someone sends in a rescue team because I might call in tomorrow with ebola. Also, only partial libraries are available so far but this will get better, fast. Pretty soon huge runs of comic series will be available to click, download, and read on demand in bright, easy to read color.
I give comics on the iPad two thumbs and a toe up.
David Foster Wallace’s archive acquired
0The University of Texas has acquired the David Foster Wallace Archive. Some of the archive is here, along with his heavily annotated copy of Don DeLillo’s Player’s (which I have not yet read) and Borges: A Life by Edwin Williamson.
The collection is both fascinating and sad — sad that there has to be one of these University collections at all instead of 50 years from now.
I am about 800 pages into Infinite Jest.
Dostoevsky as MUSH Log
0I am a lifelong fan of Russian literature, especially the fine works of Fyodor Dostoevsky. I love Notes from the Underground and Crime and Punishment. I decided to try out Daily List by reading a free translation of The Brothers Karamazov. I had started reading it once a long time ago and I figured I would finish it. The translation is very spotty in places but the copy is readable — I would recommend springing for the Penguin Books version.
The Brothers Karamazov is about three brothers, Dmitri, Ivan and Alexey, who were abandoned by their father after their mothers died. Dmitri has a different mother than Ivan and Alexey. Old Fyodor is a drunk who hates everyone. The cook, Smerdyakov, also hates everyone and he might or might not be Old Fyodor’s illegitimate. And girls are involved: the beautiful Katerina Ivanova, the trollop Grushenka, the crippled Lise. And here’s a bit of plot:
Dmitri is engaged to Katerina Ivanova but for some reason his father Fyodor wants to marry her so Fyodor has gotten Grushenka involved and Dmitri is obsessed with Grushenka but now Ivan is moving in on Katerina Ivanova who is having fainting fits and Alexey (Alyosha) simply wants to marry poor crippled Lise and make his family whole but Ivan is an atheist and Dmitri is crazy and Smerdyakov is plotting to get them to all kill each other…
Eventually the plot devolves to stabbing and deep introspection of the soul because:
- It’s a Russian Novel
- It always devolves to stabbing
- The soul needs some serious introspection
And reading along… I get this strange feeling I have read all this before. I feel deja-vu.
A good, solid, Russian gothic novel is everything a MUSH devolves into given five minutes and half a playerbase: lots and lots of people sitting around discussing how they are quite upset, then going on a huge monologue about God for a few pages, some tension, perhaps a good war or two if reading Tolstoy, and then someone gets a good, solid stabbing. Then after something finally happens everyone — yes — sits around in cafes and discusses everything again! Wash, rinse, repeat. (This ties back well into Rob’s post about romance novels.)
This sort of thought leads me down the path to all sorts of MUSH-like genre games where the novel reads an awful lot like a MUSH log with some better language, punctuation and spelling:
- Romance games, where everyone sits around and talks.
- Jeeves and Wooster games, where everyone sits around, talks, drinks, and fails to shoot pool.
- Russian novel games, where everyone sits around, talks, drinks, stabs, and angsts.
I, personally, will be the first person to app on the Jeeves and Wooster MUSH.
Great Books
1The beginning to this line of thinking starts off in the murky past and bubbles to the surface every once in a while. The latest bubble to surface was after reading David Foster Wallace’s essay, “Joseph Frank’s Dostoevsky,” read only by the intersection of people who enjoy David Foster Wallace’s essays and Dostoevsky, ie: me. While the essay is largely a rant about the insistence of ripping Dostoevsky’s novels out of their place and time and context to “analyze” them properly, I was struck by a part of the argument which shined light on the instinctual fear and trembling when faced with a book emblazoned with the horrible moniker CLASSIC.
CLASSIC is novel death: if the novel a classic, it sits on a shelf in pristine condition, unopened, unloved, and dusty until the end of time. CLASSIC means boring. CLASSIC means slow and ponderous and dull. Never mind that without Crime and Punishment no CSI would run in a thousand time slots across cable a night, or that the book is the original Crime and Procedural Drama; never mind that Crime and Punishment is eminently readable and enjoyable and Dostoevsky is an excellent and fast read; it is *CRIME AND PUNISHMENT and thus it is DEAD ON ARRIVAL.
I blame the teaching method of the novel in high school settings. A CLASSIC novel is “good for you” the same way lima beans are theoretically good for you (I disbelieve this notion). The CLASSIC is foisted upon the unsuspecting the student. “We are READING the NOVEL,” the teacher says. “There will be… A TEST.” The student muddles through the difficult and impenetrable text as if heading through a dense jungle with a dull knife with nothing more than double-spaced typed essays and exams to discover on the other side. Worse, the exam is about themes, themes which may not even be there, themes about stuff, themes themes themes. Themes completely divorced from the time period and events the author experienced. Read the book, do the essays, choke down the lima beans, cough up the words, extract no joy from the novel or the reading experience. Classic novels are not about literature as joy or discovery or experience or history — Classic novels are about WORK and ANALYSIS. Figure it out or fail the class! Must! Read! Book!
No wonder adults take pains to avoid the classic works. Nevermind that classic books are CLASSIC because they are the froth on the pond scum of the book market. These are the books who survive into multiple reprintings through popularity and name recognition. Nevermind that some very popular favorite books today will one day be considered classics and foisted upon unsuspecting high school students to “analyze” with sad little three page, double-spaced essays and no mention of our history. (Cormac McCarthy’s books anyone?) Nevermind that many of these CLASSIC novels were once bestselling mass market genre novels themselves. They are CLASSIC, and thus, they are toxic.
The hold on the imagination is difficult to break. The tensing up, the feeling of dread in the pit of the stomach, the worry about passing the class, the weird nightmares about final exams. My god, will this book be on the final exam? “What if I don’t like it?” you ask yourself. “Am I allowed to put it down? It’s a CLASSIC novel!” You bought it from Barnes and Noble. You’re stuck reading this thing. It’s supposed to be good! “What if I cannot flee?” you think. AIIIIEEEEE! The screams in the darkness! It’s a downward spiral from the book into depression and alcoholism and drugs and prostitution and appearing in a Darren Aronofsky movie and death because you picked up **Hemingway! The End! The End! The End!
I contend it’s all a bunch of crap. We teach the arts poorly in our schools and the novel worst of all. The novel is important and I rail against the insistence on draining the love from the experience. Read the books outside a classroom setting. Think of them as well-written genre novels. Put down the ones that don’t personally work and move on. Treat them like a paperback fantasy novel. I read Dostoevsky outside the context of the classroom. And Joyce. And Shakespeare. And F Scott Fitzgerald. And the poetry of D.H. Lawrence. And a dozen other classic works. I will argue that Gatsby has magnificent set pieces but no plot — and would fail a class, most certainly. But who cares? Read them! Read a book!
(Full disclosure: I refused to take literature classes in college after being branded ‘too stupid’ to take an AP English class in high school. Too stupid translates into ‘having my own opinions on books.’ Per my High School English teacher, I can neither read nor write in any language and I am too stupid to appreciate Shakespeare for what it is — sex romps and overwrought historical melodramas. Damn my insistence on enjoying a genre novel for what it is. And my neverending hatred for Old Man and the Sea.)
* I have read C&P, despite being told I am too dumb to read C&P. It always appears on my top 5 favorite books list.
** This is what happens when you read Hemingway, by the way. Medical fact.






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