Normal warning: These posts are not to entertain. They’re to put a pin in my sanity. If you want funny, please head off to reddit.
I’m sitting out on my deck and it’s absolutely gorgeous out here. 60-some degrees, clear skies, light breeze. Birds are chirping. Trees are covered in buds. First round of early spring flowers came and went. You’d never know that Hogan ordered a stay-at-home order to stop the spread of the virus today.
Today’s theme is “having issues with anxiety.” Feeling tired all the time, utterly strung out, not sleeping well anxiety. Having a hard time anxiety.
Some of it is from news. Things like “GOP Plows Forward with Plans to Kill Obamacare.” Really? That’s what you care about right now? Taking away people’s health care during a global pandemic? Or the “hey only 100-200K people are going to die go us USA USA USA.”
Alot of it is work, which is fueled by anxiety++. The more object-oriented version of anxiety, where you can inherit anxiety from macro anxiety-producing sources.
Alot of it is deep uncertainty because no one has any idea how this is all going to end.
Some of it from the proximity to NYC. It hasn’t reached friend-of-a-friend death yet, but it’s reached acquaintance-of-acquaintance. Brother in Law and his wife are in Brooklyn hunkered down. Worried about everyone in all our fine East Coast cities.
A dash is exposing myself to stupid during an anxiety-fueled time which I honestly don’t need and shouldn’t do.
I mean, shit like this makes me think that we’re going to be trapped here forever. Dear God. “Right-Wing Performance Art.” These people are killing other people. It’s never going to end.
I could get on telemedicine and try to get some pills but then I’m taking resources from people who need them, so I will stick with boxed wine. And I’m not convinced I need them, honestly, when I can jack up my workouts like crazy.
Which I have done.
Speaking of which, I have worked out so much to control my anxiety that the ass in my jeans is loose. I have lost tangible inches on my tights and butt from the zillions of squat reps. My pants fit weird. I could douse myself in pure milk chocolate and not put on weight. It’s so bad, my left knee went hey, remember me? this morning while I was doing hills on the bike. I’m going to rig up Ring-Fit to do Arms/Chest/Abs for the rest of the week until my knee plays nicely again.
I’m still playing Animal Crossing. You should, too.
I pulled the first hydroponically-grown peppers off the plant yesterday. Initial experiment: success.
I need to, like, do things. Hobbies sprouting like weeds.